total happiness

July 29, 2006 at 9:56 pm (Uncategorized)

That’s really the only way I can describe it…

I got off work at four o’clock tahday, and I had to ride my bike home. Lemme tell you, it was HOT!!! So yeah. I took a shower, cleaned my room then took like 45 minutes trying tah figure out what to wear!! I settled on my white capris and this beige-ish shirt with red flowers on it. I think it looked pretty cute, but what do I know??

Corey picked me up at like, oh I don’t know, 5:30-ish… On our way to his house we had to stop at County Market, where we saw Phil Brandyberry. Then we got to his place, and his little brother Kyle gave me the tour. So cute. Then we ate. The menu consisted of hamburgers, corn on the cob, and potato salad. (Not that many of you care, but for those who are living vicariously through others, these details are important!!) After dinner, it was movie time.

So we watched Alexander. It was okay. Not the best movie, but not horrible. Then we watched the last hour of Blade, cuz it was on t.v. It was really fun, even though it sounds kind of lame to some of you. I guess it was prolly the fact that I was just spending time with Corey. Ya know, just me and him… alone. It was really nice.

Then at about quarter till ten he took me home… The moon looked gorgeous tonite by the way. I really didn’t wanna go home. I think I could have just sat there all night with him and been perfectly happy, but oh well. Gives me something to look forward to.

Did I mention that my parents are almost as ecstatic as me, about me and Corey?? It’s quite nice to have them pleased with me for once… Well, I just mean that they trust Corey and think it’s great that I’m ya know… “with” him or whatever. They know how happy I am and I think it’s makes them ten times happier too.

So yeah… it was probably the best night of my life. I hope we can hang out again sometime. ❤


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Goin’ to da Fair

July 28, 2006 at 3:23 pm (Uncategorized)

Wish I could take you with me Sarah!! but oh well, we got band camp AND WOLF PARADE coming soon!!! Yayness.

Saturday night seems like ages away… I can’t wait though. Still trying tah decide what to wear. Not like it matters… it’s only a movie. I guess it’s just that I’ve been waiting for this for ages… Well, ten months anyway.

Gonna go see if MySpace is working yet… If I have to do my profile all over AGAIN! Oh… how mad would I be.

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i hafta. you understand??

July 26, 2006 at 7:12 am (Uncategorized)

Sarah, I wanted to say thank you. And I absolutely mean that…

Things are well, frustrating right now. I must do something today that is gonna hurt somebody, but I know it’s the best thing for me. If I don’t do it, I’ll just be lying to myself. And to Rob…

I know that being with Corey is what I want… it’s not a hunch or an idea… It’s a truth. I’ve poured like all this past year into that child, and I don’t see how it would go away. I care about Rob, he’s a great guy, but… I know that in the back of my mind there will always be Corey. And honestly, I’m getting a second chance with him. Right now. Something tells me that if I miss this, there won’t be a third chance.

See, whenever I’m sitting around, and I get the chance to daydream, they’re always about Corey. And whenever I think about marriage, it’s always like, ” I hope my husband will be someone like Corey.” Does that sound horrible?? Considering I am currently with someone who is NOT Corey, inevitably so… So I can only see one way out of this [for lack of other word] lie. And I know it won’t be easy, but it will have to be today.

And I’m sorry to those of you who are having to read this before I even talk to you about it, but this is what I can do about this situation at this particular moment in time. So get over it.

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>right thing?<

July 24, 2006 at 2:35 pm (Uncategorized)

Well… he asked me if we still had feelings for each other. And I told him the truth. Which would be yes. I know he probably is either pissed or I don’t know…. something other than happy, obviously.

And I guess it should bother me that he knows, but honestly, I’m kinda glad he does. Now I can just well, not be so worried. At least I’ll feel a little less traitorous. But only a little

I suppose that’s it really. Pretty uneventful here lately.

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July 23, 2006 at 7:01 pm (Uncategorized)

Goodness… I am so BORED!! I really, completely have nothing to do whatsoever.

MySpace is down. Like, the whole site. I’m sure most of you know that already, but it kinda makes me angry. I bet I could entertain myself if it was up… Maybe not. I don’t know. I just wish someone was on to talk to.

Lalala….. la la laaaaaaa….. .. . LAA!! hmmm.

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Back pains

July 22, 2006 at 12:54 am (Uncategorized)

*meh* My back has been hurting for a few hours now…. It stopped at work for awhile, but that’s prolly cause Corey made me an ice-pack for it. I probably should make one right now. It might help. But i dunno if I’m going to bed soon or not…

Yeah, work was pretty good tonight. Corey brought his laptop, so we watched Queen of the Damned for half our shift. Jared stopped by and was watching it with us. We got out kinda late, but whatever…

So last night I went straight to Sarah’s from work. We watched this movie called Better Off Dead (John Cusack), which happens to be the source of my current MySpace quote. – “Gee… I’m really sorry your mom blew up, Ricky.” It was really good too. Then we decided to go to bed at about three o’clock in the morning… But since we’re girls we stayed up another 45 minutes talking. Mostly about religion, memories, and well, life. It was really fun.

Today, we woke up at like 11:30, and we had to catch Pirates at noon. Really great movie, by the way. Anyway, it got over round two thirty, and so then we walked over to Pages. There I bought High Fidelity (current favorite, and incidentally was turned into a movie starring… John Cusack!!), and Sarah got The Alchemist, which Jared is letting me borrow right now.

So yes. I am in a very good mood, and have been for the past couple o’ days. Probably cause for about 3/4 of the time I was away from home. Oh, oops… Did I actually type that?? Well, it’s pretty much true.

Oh, and Rob hurt his ankle again. Sprained it. All I can say is “DORK!!” Hah, just kidding. But it must be pretty bad, cause he’ll be off work for two weeks. Wish I could say that it means we’ll be able to spend a little more time together, but my mom has this rule where I’m only allowed to hang out with him once a week. That’s it. I’m not sure why she made it up, but it’s kinda pissing me off. Hmm, yup.

NINE DAYS TILL BAND CAMP, PEOPLE!! Yes, you must be excited with me. WHY?? Cause I said so. So pfft! Ah well, I must be off. My lower back is SCREAMING for an ice-pack right about now. Talk to you guys, well some of you, later.

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*laugh giggle chortles sniggers…. and snorts*

July 19, 2006 at 8:36 pm (Uncategorized)

Yeah. Today was pretty great.

Got to sleep in til NOON!! Then I got to talk to Sarah (yayness). When my dad got home we went to cash my paycheck. Then picked my Mom, and went to get CHINESE FOOD!!

So yeah, I was pretty much in love with today. Plus the sunset was gorgeous… Couldn’t have asked for more.

Tamarah i have to work, but then I get to spend the night at Sarah’s. So hopefully I’ll have a good one tomorrow too! I love how life is finally starting to work out.

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I would love to talk about it all… not really

July 16, 2006 at 2:52 pm (Uncategorized)

I feel, lately, as though I have betrayed someone who is very close to me. I mean, I haven’t done anything to hurt them, but there are some small things that keep bugging me.

See, there’s this dream that I keep having, and let’s just say in this dream it’s different than how my actual life is… and in a BIG way. Then there are those moments when I’m just sitting around thinking and a certain thought pops into my head. When really, this thought should have no place in there (or my heart).

I’ve tried convincing myself that eventually it will all stop, but I really don’t know if it will. I want to be able to make it stop, but there’s also that part of me that wants it to stay… And that is where the problem lies. I half-heartedly want to stop betraying this person, only I can’t. Because deep down, something is telling me that I do want to keep having those thoughts, and that I want my recurring dream to come true.

I know this is very vague, and I doubt if any of you know what I am talking about, but I can’t bring myself to say it aloud (or type it plainly). At least, not yet. And as hard as I’m trying to fix this “problem”, I don’t know >> A) if I can OR B) if it’s supposed to be stopped.

All I can hope for is that fate takes its course quickly, and as painless as possible.

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July 15, 2006 at 12:33 am (Uncategorized)

Hey!! I made a new cd tahnite… well, this morning technically seeing as it’s one a.m. I was sad though cuz I couldn’t get “Killing Loneliness” or “Wings of a Butterfly”, but I guess there’s always my next cd. Yesh, well I shall type out all the songs below…. if you haven’t heard them you should check ’em out!

1]Crazy Bitch – Buckcherry
2]Last Words – Ice Kills Nine
3]Give It All – Rise Against
4]Dani California – Red Hot Chili Peppers
5]Religious Man – Mr. Loco
6]Hands Open – Snow Patrol
7]Through Glass – Stone Sour
8]Make Damn Sure – Taking Back Sunday
9]Swing Life Away – Rise Against
10]Trees – Marty Casey and the Lovehammers
11]Lonely Day – System of a Down
12]Rooftops (A Liberation Broadcast) – LostProphets

Like it?? Well, even if you don’t I do, and that’s all that matters!!

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muahaha >> it seems non-stop!

July 10, 2006 at 4:12 pm (Uncategorized)

Yeah… I had my first driving session for Behind the Wheel today. I really like my teacher even though I forget what his name is. My driving partner has like never driven before, so my confidence was like way up, and the instructor said I did really good. I don’t know why but the couple of times I’ve driven with my dad I totally freaked out, but with some total complete stranger I feel relaxed and I seem to drive better. Seems odd to me, but maybe it isn’t.

Yup… my mom has continued to piss me off this summer, but I am definitely glad to be free. Not to mention that I have been on my BEST behavior ever since getting off grounded from the whole grade thing. She seems to trust me a little more these days, but I think she is still pretty wary of my relationship with Rob. I think that’s because her first date wasn’t until she had moved out of her parent’s house and she’s just concerned about me, but it can be EXTREMELY annoying at times… especially when she says that I am moving too fast with him. I don’t see how she came up with that brilliant idea, but I suppose it’s a “Mom Thing”.

Other than that, I have been so busy this summer. I’ve gone camping three times already, went through summer school, have been working non-stop(or so it seems), and I’ve just been hanging out and relaxing when I can manage it. Life is pretty good from here. I really hope it stays that way, even though I’m not sure how it could go wrong… it would have to be something pretty drastic. Like a death in the family or something.

*ugh* Don’t let me jinx myself…

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July 5, 2006 at 7:12 pm (Uncategorized)

I’m not sure what my headline for this blog is supposed to mean… I just honestly couldn’t think of anything else.

I don’t even know what I’m gonna write about in this blog entry of mine. I just thought that I should blog today. You know, as to keep it updated. *meh* I am so not thinking… well, I am but just not about stuff I want to write about. Not that it’s bad, but I just don’t want to and don’t think I should.

So yeah… I know my life is boring, but what can I do???

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